[ sakura levels a firm look at douman. he should know by now. ]
They didn't care about me. They never have.
Only Bofurin does. Only . . . that place. So let it be.
[ there's no point being mad about it. all that anger . . . it ends nowhere. sakura fought to be safe from the abuse. there's nothing else to it. their minds won't change about him. ]
[Douman's expression darkens for a moment. He knows when he's not wanted. But that doesn't mean that he will look away because of it.]
Forget about it. Your words right back at you; if I want to care about somebody, I will.
[He huffs and glances to the side as he tilts his head in an unhappy compromise.]
But I'll acknowledge that you're not in a bad place back home at the moment, and that there is nothing I could do about it anyway. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it.
[ those words hadn't been directed at douman, but sakura can't take it back. and he's still smarting from before. he looks down at his own hands, unsure of what to say. ]
I'm lowkey angry at all kinds of things all too often anyway, so don't sweat too much about it. The worst that could happen is that I'll get arrested for a bit because I kicked any of those cops who left you and the townspeople hanging if they ever show up here. [Which is a very big "if" and they both know it.] Which wouldn't be the first time I get arrested, either.
You are, clearly. Since you're the one being loud about it now.
And I say it because I absolutely mean it. I bet my whole school for a chance for one of my students less than a year ago. [It had been a ridiculously high bet, but you needed to risk at least that much if you wanted to pick a fight with the youkai minister. And Douman had been confident in Haruaki-kun and the boy's friends.]
Exactly. [Douman has remembered his cake too by now, and is slowly savoring it.]
I tried to honor your will with that book. But unlike with humans, there all types of youkai, and we are all very different. Some of us can hurt you, even if we don't mean to. And it can be 'awkward' or unpleasant to just bring up in a talk, especially for youngsters.
Right now there should be at least five, although I've hardly met everybody. In any case, the info in there is kept that short and general that it should be useful no matter where they come from. You've got cats and dogs back home too, right?
This book would tell you that they are pets, that they can go "meow", hiss and purr, that they eat meat and that them wagging their tail is a sign of them being unhappy. That's about it.
If you want to find anything out about us as persons, you'll still have to talk to us.
Look. Just don't make me regret thinking that it might be a good idea.
I figured that you might want to know more about Sano-kun and the others. There's also no telling if somebody from home who isn't my friend won't pop up, so [Ugh.]
....I've talked with Sano-kun about it, between. About ...you know.
[No. It's care. Because Douman has made some really nasty enemies along the way and wouldn't be able to forgive himself if Sakura got targeted just to get at him. Some of those people would delight sending him back on that rope.]
He understands the problem, and it won't happen again. And that I'm not forbidding you from being friends or anything. To stay with your gang fighting thing, I don't want one of you to start throwing punches at the other for fun if the other isn't prepared. And for the guns to be left at home.
[ he thinks of endo. his hands around sakura's throat, his words whispered into his ear. like the hissing of snakes. sakura was drowning under them. he knows now why endo did that, what he was trying to accomplish. and back then, he was raised out of the abyss.
[Ah. Here they go again. No matter what Douman tries or says, it'll never matter. Will never reach when it matters.
Maybe he is really a myth.
Waiting for that thing that will finally free him from that endless limbo, even though it'll never come. That's what his youkai type is all about after all, isn't it? Serves him right for getting a big head from feeling seen, even though all he needs to do is to play his part.]
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[ he's honestly kind of lost. ]
I've never had anyone help me before. Why would they start now?
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If you care for somebody, you don't leave them hanging. It's easy as that.
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They didn't care about me. They never have.
Only Bofurin does. Only . . . that place. So let it be.
[ there's no point being mad about it. all that anger . . . it ends nowhere. sakura fought to be safe from the abuse. there's nothing else to it. their minds won't change about him. ]
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Forget about it. Your words right back at you; if I want to care about somebody, I will.
[He huffs and glances to the side as he tilts his head in an unhappy compromise.]
But I'll acknowledge that you're not in a bad place back home at the moment, and that there is nothing I could do about it anyway. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it.
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. . . Yeah. That's . . . fine, I guess.
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I'm lowkey angry at all kinds of things all too often anyway, so don't sweat too much about it. The worst that could happen is that I'll get arrested for a bit because I kicked any of those cops who left you and the townspeople hanging if they ever show up here. [Which is a very big "if" and they both know it.] Which wouldn't be the first time I get arrested, either.
So it's really no problem.
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Thanks. But it's fine. Really.
I don't think any of those people are gonna show up here.
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....and I'd do the same for any other of my students and teachers, so don't get any funny ideas about it.
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Stop saying shit like that then!!
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And I say it because I absolutely mean it. I bet my whole school for a chance for one of my students less than a year ago. [It had been a ridiculously high bet, but you needed to risk at least that much if you wanted to pick a fight with the youkai minister. And Douman had been confident in Haruaki-kun and the boy's friends.]
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W-Well, we don't need to worry, right? Things are fine.
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I tried to honor your will with that book. But unlike with humans, there all types of youkai, and we are all very different. Some of us can hurt you, even if we don't mean to. And it can be 'awkward' or unpleasant to just bring up in a talk, especially for youngsters.
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Everyone comes from different places after all.
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As pets and stuff.
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If you want to find anything out about us as persons, you'll still have to talk to us.
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I guess that makes sense, since you're kind of mythical.
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I figured that you might want to know more about Sano-kun and the others. There's also no telling if somebody from home who isn't my friend won't pop up, so [Ugh.]
....I've talked with Sano-kun about it, between. About ...you know.
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He say anything?
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He understands the problem, and it won't happen again. And that I'm not forbidding you from being friends or anything. To stay with your gang fighting thing, I don't want one of you to start throwing punches at the other for fun if the other isn't prepared. And for the guns to be left at home.
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Like I said before. It's fine. Nothing's gonna happen anyway.
[ he's never going to let it go that far. ]
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but right now, he's . . . ]
What do you want me to say?
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[ 'What do you want-' ]
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Maybe he is really a myth.
Waiting for that thing that will finally free him from that endless limbo, even though it'll never come. That's what his youkai type is all about after all, isn't it? Serves him right for getting a big head from feeling seen, even though all he needs to do is to play his part.]
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